[Bonus] The Late Report: August 2020

August wraps up with a pretty hefty edition of The Late Report. Let's check out what the last month had it store for us. Spoiler alert: there's actually some interesting stuff to go over so that's exciting. From serious to memes, good music to bad, variety is the spice of life.

JYP & Sunmi - When We Disco

And you know I'll start with memes! Twice? Itzy? Nah JYP is the comeback of the month because he's still got the moves even when he's almost 50 years old. Sunmi is of course spectacular in both voice and visual, and it's funny how she got to collab with him after leaving the label. The other funny aspect is the idea that these two put on a very simple choreography display for us after Red Velvet's tutting broke everyone's arms. How thoughtful of the legend.

Lee Hyori Assembles The (Female) Avengers

Holy shit you thought SuperM was a hype ass group? This quartet has it all. Lee Hyori, Uhm Junghwa, Jessi, and Hwasa. That is maximum bad bitch energy right there. That is combined decades of experience, talent, and wisdom all working together. And I expect something magical from this squad. My favorite comment was the in the r/kpop thread where someone said "Lesbians. It is our time." But yeah man I'm really interested in seeing what these four can bring to the table together.

Taemin - 2 Kids

Never have I pretended to know anything about choreography and that isn't changing anytime soon. Especially in my post-dance crew years. Anyway Taemin continues to produce art. That's all I really have to say. Watch the man work.

[Review] Black Pink & Selena Gomez - Ice Cream

It's bad. The end. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[Bonus] JYP Entertainment Girl Group Member Tier List

Here's the project of the month. All members that have ever been under any JYP Entertainment girl group exists on this graphic. Wonder Girls, miss A, 15&, Twice, and Itzy span over a decade of history under the JYP flag so this should be fun. How am I determining placements? It's gonna be a combination of their group, music, contributions, legacy, with a little bias sprinkled on top. Naturally I've strayed away from doing art pieces with blog posts but this was too much fun to ignore. Maybe I'll get addicted to making these scuffed graphics again, who knows.

D Tier: Lia, Chaeryeong, Yerin, Jimin, Hyuna
Reminder that these are ordered left to right within tiers. Thus, Hyuna starts us off in dead last. Of course, her extremely short stint with the Wonder Girls is the major reason. And then there's 15&, the unfortunate queens of inefficiency and mismanagement (or simply lack of care). They were extremely unproductive during their time together, with just five singles across their seven years before disbandment. Rounding out the bottom tier we have an Itzy duo. Both members have a chance to grow alongside their group, but for now their bland status relegates them here.

[Review] Dreamcatcher - Boca

I completely butchered the last Girl Group Power Rankings by leaving out Dreamcatcher. Whoops...Gonna have to go back and do some revising. Given that I have really enjoyed their music, I'm quite ashamed of their complete exclusion from the list. There's no way it should have happened but I screwed up during the process. Also I had this draft nearly done for a Thursday release but then I lost Internet for the entire fucking day. Classic! Dreamcatcher are without Handong for this comeback, so let's see how "Boca" holds up with the six active members.

[Review] SuperM - 100

Suppose it's time for another boy group review. It's been almost half a year since the last real one - not including revisits or throwbacks in that count. SuperM have been pretty active as far as promoting like the special group that they are, so that's cool that this isn't just a one time thing. Whether the song will live up to their hype though is another story.

[Review] Brave Girls - We Ride (Teaser)

Of the entire list of girl groups I'd never thought would make a comeback in this day and age, Brave Girls was probably at the very top of the list. They have for the lack of a better word suffered throughout their tenure and 2020 marks their return after three years of silence and losing members. "We Ride" sounds like some classy retro pop is on the horizon which will be interesting since this group has pursued plenty of different genres before. Unfortunately for me there will be no Hyeran who is probably still just enjoying her life away from the idol sphere, but this increases the chance of "We Ride" having a shitty rap by like 80%. I might make it a rule that if I ever post about a teaser I must also cover the actual song once released. That makes these less fluff and more substance, and would essentially be a quick juxtaposition going from teaser to full song. Think of it like an extremely quick revisited since instead of years between looking at the song it'd be days. That will probably start in September though (or later...) since I'm that kind of lazy bum. Anyway you have my interest, Brave Girls. Don't squander it like all the other times.

[Review] Sistar - Give It To Me (Revisited)

The RNG spun the wheel and this is the winner for the next revisit. I considered going over Soyu's "Gotta Go" but the random number generator decided otherwise. Here's yet another girl group titan of years past with one of their most popular songs at the time. Sistar's "Give It To Me" was fast and exciting, but has it held up over the last seven years?

• Sistar really came back with an improved synchronized sound. Dasom and Soyou really stepped it up with the light high notes. Dasom’s English is a little strange sounding, as I heard “that’s what I mean” instead of “that’s all I need” but whatever. Hyorin is still flawless, belting at the end of choruses and the power notes at the song’s climax are amazing.

"Give It To Me" was released in the early era of Sistar stepping up their game. After "Alone" and "Loving U" achieved breakout success this was their follow-up and yeah, the synchronization and unified sound is everything. Hyorin (as with any singer) sounds the best when in their comfort range and she rocks her moments in the spotlight. Again this was during the sectioned years of reviews so the revisit will also feel clunky, oh well.

[Review] Cherry Bullet - Aloha Oe

Summer isn't over quite yet. FNC are gonna try and divert our attention from their AOA disaster with a Cherry Bullet release. To somewhat of a surprise, I've never written about this group on the blog yet. They've had a sort of video game motif going on for at least a couple of their releases which was neat but the music itself has been uninspiring at best.

I fear I have gotten to the point where nothing a girl group does is really gonna inspire or impress me anymore. At least from a general perspective. Especially when it comes to summer songs because if there's one genre of Kpop that has been rehashed over and over again to a pulp, it's this one. The Hawaii theme is evident from the title alone, and carries over into the song (with the little aloha riff) and music video (look at how fake those rooms look). The instrumentals comprise of the typical refreshing sound during verses and stronger sound during choruses. Seems like none of their trainees could follow up on Jimin's talent as far as rapping is concerned because what you hear here is quite bad. The bridge houses some nice vocal moments I guess, but it's really nothing to praise considering a summer track like this isn't exactly showcasing their talents. There isn't much else to say which is kind of a shame. It's a boring summer song from a boring (for now) group. It's that simple to write about. Cherry Bullet have a lot of work to do before they can confidently find themselves out of AOA's giant shadow, for better...or for worse.