[Review] Red Velvet - Umpah Umpah

Red Velvet is having another 2019 comeback before I've published the next iteration of Girl Group Power Rankings. They are getting on my case. But with Shine coming up this weekend (can't wait to immediately exit pools), I won't have the time or energy for a full post. So instead, we'll take a look at their latest project "Umpah Umpah." Besides reminding me of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, the title instills fear in me because...let's just say I don't speak of "Zimzalabim." Much like the song itself, I imagine this review to bounce all over the place.

Oh no that start. Oh no the weird male voices. Oh no a cheesy English line. The start of this song really had me worried this was gonna be "Zimzalabim 2.0" - or perhaps "Happiness 3.0" but thankfully Seulgi showed me that there was at least some hope for the track. Her voice combined with that heavy instrumental put me at ease. Then comes Wendy and immediate harmonies, which make the first verse a damn treat. Prechorus is whatever but how about the chorus? The bass is booming while the harmonies are delightful, and dropping a long note this early is a welcome surprise.

Oh no they're trying to have RV rap again. Fighting for another chance on Girl Group Rapper Power Rankings huh? They've dabbled in the rap game before and haven't been too successful on any outing so this instance is no exception. The only thing I liked about this rap was the string of references to old songs: "Dumb Dumb," "Red Flavor," "Happiness," and "Ice Cream Cake" specifically. Even cooler is that Irene mentioned the first two songs, while Joy said the latter two. They rapped in each song they referenced! It seems "Umpah Umpah" is a rollercoaster between good and bad. Good verses and chorus are split between cheese, bad rapping, and creepy male voices.

Joy's chorus high note was wonderful and I think she earns the MVP for this comeback with her contributions bar the rapping. She does a little bit of everything and is on even playing field with Seulgi and Wendy for most of the song which is quite the admirable effort. The music video is your generic summer fling, and even more so because some of those sets are stupid fake. Excellent moments are tortoise-unnie (who is giving table-unnie a run for her money) and Seulgi in a raincoat on the roof (could've sworn she was about to get struck by lightning or a tree).

Truth be told though, perhaps the most disappointing thing about "Umpah Umpah" isn't the awkward breaks, generic music video, or mediocre rapping. This choreography might be the weakest I've ever seen from Red Velvet. Granted, there are no live performances yet but everything the MV shows is so...generic. I get this is the summer block but even still, songs like "Power Up" and even "Happiness" had more interesting dance moves. Also tell me that sequence of moves during the post-chorus "umpah" break isn't awkward-looking as hell.

"Umpah Umpah" is a direct upgrade to remove my memory from "Zimzalabim" because that song was a nightmare, and this one is less of a nightmare. High highs unfavorably supported by low lows, with an extremely forgettable dance and meh music video. It's perfectly fine for the summer, but this is Red Velvet: a top three girl group. They should be giving us better than acceptable, in my plebeian opinion.